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Have you ever seen an ad that made you feel… attacked? Like, 'Hey, are you broke, lonely, and failing? Is everything crumbling around you? Here’s our solution.'

Hard pass.

Today, we’re talking about that kind of marketing—the exploitative, fear-based stuff that gives selling a bad rep.

We’ll dig into why it works, why it’s a terrible idea for your brand, and—most importantly—how to actually connect with your audience without making them feel like hot garbage.

Are you ready to skip the ick?

Here’s the deal: Marketing doesn’t have to feel gross to be effective.

When you lean into fear, insecurity, or desperation, you might get a quick sale, but at what cost? People start to associate your brand with negativity. They work with you because they’re scared, not excited.

I don’t know about you, but that’s not the vibe I want.

I want clients who trust me, who feel excited about working with me, and who come back because my business is a safe, supportive, and effective space.

Ethical marketing builds that trust while exploitive messaging burns bridges, fast.

Let’s break it down. What does exploitative messaging actually look like?

Exploitative messaging is when businesses obsess over pain points. They don’t just say, 'I see you’re struggling with XYZ.' No, they dig deeper: exaggerating, fear-mongering, throwing worst-case scenarios in your face.

It’s not just negative—it’s straight-up predatory.

So, why does this fear-based stuff even work?

It’s all thanks to your brain’s shortcut system. When you’re stressed or insecure, your brain skips the logic and goes straight to survival ‘fix this now’ mode (also known as your System 1 Thinking)

But those results come at a real cost. Sure, you might get a few clients, but they’re working with you out of fear, not trust. And that’s a recipe for short-term wins and long-term damage to your reputation.

Do you really want your clients saying, 'Well, I hired so and so because I felt backed into a corner'? I don’t think so.

You want them to say, 'I worked with so and so because they get me and I trust them and they’re damn good at their job.' Big difference.

Fear-based marketing burns trust fast, but empathy is how you rebuild it without tearing your audience down or diminishing their challenges.

Let me show you how with empathy mapping.

Empathy mapping is all about understanding what’s going on in your audience’s head—the good, the bad, and the "why am I awake at 3 a.m. googling this?"

Here’s how to do it:

Grab a notebook and start with these questions about your audience:

  1. What’s really on their mind and keeping them up at night?

    Maybe it’s, 'Why can’t I seem to book the right clients?' or ‘How am I going to find a wedding venue that’s both elegant and retro?’

  2. What are they feeling?

    Stress? Overwhelm? Maybe a little hope mixed in? Recognize those emotions because they shape what your audience needs from you.

  3. What are they saying?

    Hit the forums, scroll the socials, and listen to the exact words your audience uses to describe their situation. Go ahead and plug the straight into your messaging.

  4. What are they doing?

    Is your audience Googling solutions? Downloading freebies? Trying every DIY trick in the book? This shows you where they’re at —and how you can step in to help.

Now, here’s the important part: once you’ve mapped this out, use it to craft messaging that acknowledges their struggles without turning the volume up to 11.

Instead of saying, "Finding a wedding venue that’s exactly what you want is impossible—you’ll just have to compromise."—try, "Struggling to find a venue that feels right for your wedding day? I’ll help you create a space that’s even better than your Pinterest board."

See the difference? You’re still speaking to their emotions, but now you’re on their team instead of yelling from the sidelines about how doomed they are.

That’s the power of empathetic messaging—it connects, supports, and builds trust that sticks around a lot longer than a quick fear-based sale.

So, the next time you’re crafting your messaging, ask yourself: am I helping or just hyping up their stress? Lead with empathy, keep it honest, and trust me—your audience will feel the difference. Because marketing that feels good works even better.

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